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There are certain people you just don't ever take advice from. Or at least, people you learn not to take particular types of advice from. Like medical advice from my father. As a kid I knew to keep it quiet when I had a stomachache, headache, fever—anything but injury—because I already knew his follow-up question: “When was the last time you took a shit?” As if I were capable of forgetting to for days.

Just when I thought no one could touch my Chun Li in Street Fighter II, I came across him.  Who knew he could beat me?  Who knew he could out-time my Jump/Fierce Punch/Throw Attack?  You all know him.  The button masher.  That’s right, the guy that’s so bad, he’s good.»

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